Bit by Bit, We’ll Make you Whole.

When you give until there is none to give, trust that the next person would see what you saw and build up from where you left. We’ve got to give, bit by bit to make them whole

The moon was so beautiful, that the ocean held up a mirror.

Ani Difranco

Sometimes it takes a little more time, a little more patience, effort, energy and a little more love to get to the fleshy part. In the meantime you’ve got to get used to surviving on the bread crumps for a little while longer than you had anticipated. Because, it takes layer from layer to finally get to the core. And sometimes, you might just give up because you can only wait for so long and when it feels like you are almost forgetting yourself in the process, you’ve got to stop and hope that the next person would find it easier than you had. That they would not have to begin from zero like you had to. That they would not have to sit through the constant dissapointments while holding on to that small bit of hope. That they would finally get to where you couldn’t and save them. That the next person would scratch the core and crush those highset walls. That the next person will finally achieve it for the ones that have come before. That you all could watch how that person that was once so locked inn, open their heart to the world and taste the depths of what you all have been trying to make them see.
And then, wherever you will be, you can now smile. That breath you’ve been holding in can then escape in a deep sigh.
Only then.

Yours Truly
🖤
With Love….

WHO IS THE ENEMY?

“I raise up my voice, not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard. We cannot succeed when a majority of us are held back” Malala Yousefzai.

The Regarded Retarded

“…The line between the two enemies is a fine one…”

 “What is worse than indifference is when people’s nationalism allows for the conscious rationalisation of brutality as part of a political balance sheet. It is but a grave oversight when people shift their responsibility towards moral values for the duty to obey.”

– Aysha Taryam

On March 25 2020, President Uhuru Kenyatta stood before the nation at a press briefing in State House to give the larger nation direction on matters Covid-19. These would be updates on measures underway alongside those yet to be taken in a bid to slow down the spread of the SARs-Cov-2 virus. The brief began with news on recent confirmed cases to the tune of three (as of the 25th), which has since risen to 38 and 1 reported death of a 66-year old man who had prior health complications. The press statement…

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Feed that Silence

“I may be quiet but I have so much on my mind “….. But who says you have to be quiet. Don’t we all have so much on our minds.. Tell her what you think about when your eyes meet. What do you see when you look at her looking at you and she smiles looking away just so you can’t see what she’s afraid you might in those eyes😌. What do you think about that? You do not have to talk, I’m asking you to show her. Because you see, the truth is on a scale of one to ten😉, you are nine and she is the one you need. Why can’t you just tell her what you feel, because how you act is really confusing her.
Since that day you looked at each other a little too long to be just friends, she knew🧚‍♀️🧚‍♂️. From where she is, she sees this beautiful boy, with the perfect eyes. He makes her laugh so hard that she snorts like a cute piggy🐽. She can’t stop thinking about his hair and would die to run her hands through it. But can she just? She is not sure how you will take it. “Maybe he might love it or maybe he might think I’m weird” she thinks. She mentally puts her hand back to her sides and waits for the right time. She hopes that time comes.
Your stories are funny. She is watching you talk, laugh, smile and she is wondering just how everything you do can be so hot🥺🤯. She is being really shy but she is trying not to show it. Which she is failing at terribly. On a normal day, she is never shy. She likes to think of herself as one who makes boys blush. But not when it comes to you. It scares her a little, but puts butterflies in her tummy🤩. You are a cute challenge to her and she can’t wait to explore.
Unfortunately, it’s time to say bye, for now. You drop her off with a soft peck on her cheeks and a warm hug🤭😍. She can’t stop smiling on her way home😇. Just like that, she’s had the best day. And suddenly all the love songs are about you😵😵. She ignores all the other guys who want her because she is too busy noticing the one she wants.

You are the love that came too soon without warning. You had her heart before she could say no. So, stop being so cute and let her know how you feel about her. Don’t keep her waiting for too long.

Terrified of What’s Next?

You will never know what you are truly capable of if you cannot be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone and leave behind the familiar, safe, easy and more friendly options.

Have you ever thought to yourself, Why was I not born into so much wealth like some people? Because this way, you would not have to go through all that you are going through. This is a random thought that crosses most young people’s minds. Especially when you have to wake up every morning and be reminded of how jobless you are and can only rely on some hope that one day, the light will shine your way. Your parents/guardians did the best they could to get you here. They paid for your tuition fee, provided for every essential need they could and managed to get you to where you are right now. You are an adult, above 18 years and according to the law, you are capable of making your own decisions.

But the reality is, this is Kenya for us and you probably are not going anywhere anytime soon, so you better brace up. We are currently at an unemployment rate of 9.31% and honestly, if we compared to other years such as 2003, we are better off today. Because you see, back then the rate superseded 10%. This makes you wonder, HOW?? If it is this bad now, how did the unemployed people back then cope?

You have to remember that in the category of unemployed Kenyans, there are those who used to work but lost their jobs and are searching for new jobs. There are those who are now jobless because of a certain economic downturn. And then there is US, who are fresh graduates with no experience whatsoever, just theory and a few months of field attachment. You look at your situation and compare it to those with more experience, more connections and are also looking for jobs and you almost lose hope. But you cannot afford that luxury, can you? There is no way you can give up because you have come so far…You therefore, sit down and start brainstorming. Reality hits so hard and the truth is you need to find a way of sustaining yourself. You start applying for every job that comes your way. People tell you that even if you do not meet the requirements, just apply because you never know!! But deep down, you know that chances are very low. As much as that truth isn’t always comforting, it is however real.

Learn to think out of the box and use the resources availed to you to create an opportunity for yourself. Push aside the doubtful thoughts of your business ideas failing. It is only in taking risks that life becomes the daring adventure it should be. Today’s generation has been blessed with limitless access to new technologies that emerge with every passing hour. I implore you to get out of your comfort zone and think creatively. Don’t dare do nothing because when the day is over, nothing is what you would have gained. We do not have any choice. I’m not saying that you should stop applying for those internships and job opportunities. I’m saying that you should not put all of your hope in that, think of something else. Something of your own.

There is strange comfort and fulfillment in knowing at the end of the day that you did something constructive. I will tell you this with complete certainty…without any risk, no reward is achieved and the struggles you go through today will eventually become the good old days you will laugh about tomorrow.

This is Me, Now

She is sitting on the toilet seat with her hand supporting her chin. There is this song playing, that will probably make her cry under different circumstance because you see, it reminds her of a friend she lost so recently. That is what she’s thinking about but barely, because she’s been staring at the tiles on the toiled floor. The pattern on the tiles for some reason has got her fascinated, but just for a while. Her mind then drifts back to her Father. When she thinks of Dad, so many things come to mind. She knows Dad has so many expectations for her, he needs his little girl to be independent. Independent means finding a job, while also pursuing further studies, as long as she is gaining more knowledge.

She then remembers the job he sent her on WhatsApp, he wants her to apply for one more internship. He is always sending her those. She has never failed to apply. She knows she wants to get a job but also, she does not want to not apply because if she failed and it happened that she could have gotten the chance then she would be disappointed in herself for disappointing her Dad. She then remembers to give herself a reality check. Yesterday she was with a friend, he sells things online now. A few years ago, they were just simple university students, living a simple life full of expectations, dreams with lesser disappointments of life. Now, they are here. One an entrepreneur, another, confused and not sure about anything anymore.

And of course, she is so happy for her friend but can’t help envying him. She silently wonders about herself, “what does the future have for me. Will I ever find a job, my bearing?” She then remembers that she has an article halfway done, waiting to be proofread and passed through Grammarly. But that will have to wait because she has to write all these thoughts down, if she waits, then she won’t get the inspiration anymore.

This is me, still on the toilet seat, but now Abby Anderson’s Make Him Wait is playing, she’s telling me to “take a breath”. My mind is in so many places, barely here. But here and now is all that matters. And so, I am going to apply for that internship position, to that master’s program, I’m going to go out and eat junk. I am going to visit that friend I have been promising to see for the longest time now. I am going to work harder and stay positive. Almost all my friends (the few I have) are now working, but I am here, doing this with no clue about tomorrow…… This is me, now.

For Once So Pure

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Episode One

For once so pure, it was given freely and thought of as eternal……For a moment it was…

It all started on this day, it was a Monday and I was on cleaning duty. Not to say I was lazy or mischievous but I always made sure I’m the person to take the dirt to the dustbin so I could avoid the rest of the work. On my way out, I saw this boy through the school’s wire fence. I do not know how but I knew he was coming from church. We knew each other, but had never spoken before. I did not want him to notice that I had seen him and so like the proud lady I am, I looked away with a smile after seeing his head turn my way.

……Maria!

Yes girl! He just called you!

Of course, this was the inner silent me celebrating. And that is how we became good friends.

Two 12-year olds that already knew too much of the world to deny the naïve innocent love they felt for each other. I would look forward to Sundays because that was the only time, I got to meet him. My very first love. We were both children of religion but we could never wait for the mass service to be over, because that will mean going back home and not seeing each other for a whole week….so we improvised and created time out of church to sneak behind the walls and kiss. We took every chance to be alone and just hold hands, kiss and get lost in our own worlds. It was the most innocent and purest thing I have ever felt. I still believe that was my most genuine love I have ever had for someone. He was my prince charming and nothing could ever change that! But if only you knew what awaited you my little sweet angel……

How Good At Real Life Are Actors And Actresses?

Connect with me on LinkedIn @SusanSindani

Whenever I watch a movie and see how entirely I am convinced by the actions of the actors and actresses, I think to myself if these actors really could differentiate acting from real life. You watch their emotions and their behavior and how they do everything in a movie and realize that in real life everything is almost precisely done the same way. Although there are things that you can only see in movies but never in real life, you have to agree that most depict real-life situations. Moreover, is it not from real life that these scenes and actions are based on, apart from maybe some creative imaginations. If asked whether you can date an actor and be married or marry one, what would your answer be? I know what mine would be. These people are so good at fooling everyone, and you can never really know when they are being genuine and when they are in their “acting mode.” That is the hardest part of such a life. Maybe even sometimes they don’t know it themselves because they have done it so many times that it has almost become like their second nature. So many personalities for only one person might be hard to keep up with. However, unless you try, you will never really know how it works. Alternatively, maybe we could try and get the facts from the horse’s mouth. That might help us get some closure. Nonetheless, until then, we are only left with speculations, wonder, and our imaginations. It is however so ironical how in real life I think people are just acting, never feeling free and ready to let the world see and know them for who they really are. Despite it all, I still enjoy and love watching them act in both worlds, the real and the fictional.img_20180412_090652.jpg